When I was a kid my mom had a hard-and-fast rule for the five of us: If you were too sick to go to school, you were definitely too sick to go anywhere else. That’s not an issue for me now. If I’m sick enough to stay home from work, I’m sure not taking my no-makeup/crazy hair/sweatpants self out of the house.
But, just like school days, staying home sick isn’t as much fun as you’d expect. You feel like crap, and all your friends are occupied out in the world.
What’s a sickie to do when facing long, lonely hours of misery? We’re no longer at the mercy of the wasteland that is daytime television—now we can binge watch TV series and movies online or on demand. But you really need an activity that allows you to doze off unexpectedly without missing anything. (Heaven forbid you’re struck by an impromptu nap during “Sherlock.”)
I offer the following suggestions:
If this list doesn’t sound appealing, good. You must be healthy. But take another look next time you’re sick--when you have a fever, your expectations and entertainment threshold are probably much lower.
Note: I had a fever when I wrote this. And my countertops are not only Formica, they’re stock.
But, just like school days, staying home sick isn’t as much fun as you’d expect. You feel like crap, and all your friends are occupied out in the world.
What’s a sickie to do when facing long, lonely hours of misery? We’re no longer at the mercy of the wasteland that is daytime television—now we can binge watch TV series and movies online or on demand. But you really need an activity that allows you to doze off unexpectedly without missing anything. (Heaven forbid you’re struck by an impromptu nap during “Sherlock.”)
I offer the following suggestions:
- Facebook-stalk people who aren’t on your friend list. Don’t worry, it’s not real stalking because you’re only reading information they’ve put out there in public. Their mistake. (If you find this appalling, you should probably double check your own privacy settings.)
- If you’re not too sick to lift your head off the pillow, look around the room from your chair, couch or bed and make a to-do list (for someone else to do, of course). There’s stuff you don’t notice when you’re busy living your healthy, normal life. But believe you me, when you’re just lying there too miserable to move anything but your eyeballs, you’ll notice some unacceptable situations going on, especially if you’re watching show after show on HGTV. By the end of the day your non-open-concept walls will be closing in on you and you’ll realize that to remain (or become) a Person of Good Taste, that carpet has to be replaced with hand-scraped hardwood. (You have Formica countertops? Animal!) Sounds discouraging, but this will actually give you a reason to go on.
- Throw a load of clothes in the washer. When your family comes home, you’ll look like a trooper. Even as sick as you are, you got up and tried to do housework. They’ll have no choice but to finish the load before it gets that smell. (If you live alone, skip this one. Not worth it if you’re not going to impress anyone.)
- Feel sorry for yourself. Wade into that pool of self-pity and wallow your brains out. You’re home alone and miserable. Nobody else is going to feel as bad for you as you do. You don’t usually get this kind of uninterrupted sympathy, even from yourself, so enjoy it!
If this list doesn’t sound appealing, good. You must be healthy. But take another look next time you’re sick--when you have a fever, your expectations and entertainment threshold are probably much lower.
Note: I had a fever when I wrote this. And my countertops are not only Formica, they’re stock.
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