I do this a lot. Panic is my jam. Any new outfit gets its start with me standing in front of the mirror wondering what possessed me to buy it. Changing jobs: insanity. New hairdo: ridiculous. Meeting new people: Anybody have a Xanax? Where are my kids? WHERE ARE MY KIDS? I don't care if they're somewhere between the ages of 23 and 32, they better answer that text I just sent! Even posting on this page makes me a little clammy.
Something I do so often needs a name so I named it the Self-Doubt Freak-Out--it sounds like a line dance or an exercise routine, doesn’t it? Which led me to thoughts of my other favorite thing, Pinterest, which is loaded with exercise suggestions (which only look easy because they’re being performed by some woman with a 12-pack and biceps like the knotted rope in gym class. And then I started thinking about how exercise helps your stress level and mental state, which reminded me of being somewhere recently and someone said they forgot their happy pills and ¾ of the other people in the room either offered one of their happy pills or said they missed being on them, so clearly there’s a need . . .
And then it hit me.
The Self-Doubt Freak-Out COULD be an exercise routine! Behold . . .
THE SELF-DOUBT FREAK-OUT
Cure your mind and body in one simple routine!
Do each step for 20 seconds and repeat as necessary throughout the day.
- Drink 16 oz. of hot, filtered spring water with the juice of one organic, fresh-squeezed lemon.*
- Stretch [the truth].
- Run [away from your problems] in place.
- Plank--hit yourself in the head with one [in regret].
- Skip [logic].
- Find something too heavy to pick up, preferably something that’s not yours. Lift it anyway. Carrying a burden that's not yours to carry is good for your moral fiber as well as muscle fiber.
Let my pain be your gain. You’re welcome.
Do you do the Self Doubt Freak Out? What’s your favorite topic?